BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz–in Exile!

If you’ve visited my blog “BikeSnobNYC” recently, you may have noticed three things:

1) You can’t leave a comment;

2) Yesterday’s (that’s Thursday’s) post has mysteriously disappeared;

3) It makes frequent visual reference to a naked lady on a recumbent.

While I take full responsibility for that third issue, the first and second have nothing to do with me.  Rather, the large popular search engine and worldwide Internet concern that administers my blog (as well as all “Blogger” blogs) is having technical difficulties, which means I (along with anyone else using Blogger) am unable to “curate” any posts until these technical difficulties are resolved.  This has been going on since yesterday afternoon sometime, and I have no idea what sort of problems would cause an outage of this duration, but my guess is that the subjects in the popular search engine’s secret vivisection lab have finally escaped and are laying waste to Mountain View, CA even as I type this.

Either that, or else some overpaid nerd spilled fair trade coffee all over a server somewhere.  Or maybe there really is something to this whole “Friday the 13th” thing.

Anyway, as you can imagine, being unable to access my own blog is disconcerting to say the least.  Indeed, I’d go so far as to say it’s deeply unsettling, and the sensation is akin to that of being banned from your own home, or not being able to fondle your own privates.  But while a lesser Bike Snob–say, Bike Snob DC for example–might subscribe to the “If it rains take the bus” philosophy and use this as an excuse not to post (and indeed Bike Snob DC hasn’t posted for like two years now), I am a dedicated and attention-hungry media whore who fears nothing more than disappointing the many people who think my blog has totally “jumped the shark.”  I’ve also realized what a precarious situation I’m in, being at the mercy of a popular search engine and all, and so I’ve hastily assembled this ramshackle substitute.  Think of it as sort of a “pit blog” or “beater blog,” and while I hope I don’t have to rely on it too much in the future it’s at least reassuring that it’s here.  (At least it’s reassuring to me, I doubt anybody else really cares.)

Also, I should point out that my daily Giro blog over at “Bicycling” remains unaffected, as does my popular cooking blog, “Delicious Things You Can Do With Meat.”  (If I may be immodest, today’s post about meat breakfast cereals served in meat bowls is not to be missed.)

In any case, given the extenuating circumstances, I’ve decided to extend the deadline for the “There Will Be Action Wipes” contest, which previously had been set to close today:

Hopefully the overpaid bunch of Nick Burnses over at the popular search engine can get this mishigas sorted out before the weekend is up, and in the meantime I’ll continue to accept submissions through Sunday.  Speaking of submissions, erstwhile graphic savant (and new father!) Erik K (“curator” of such timeless images as the “Cosmic Kurt Loder” and “The Mescaline-Induced Curling/Bike Polo Freakout“) has outdone himself with a work of truly Hieronymous Boschian proportions:

I’m not sure it’s an “international symbol,” but from an artistic standpoint it makes the Sistine Chapel look like a skidmark on a Cat 5’s chamois.

But while I’m granting a reprieve with regard to the contest deadline, I am not letting anybody start the weekend without a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you’re right go buy yourself something nice, and if you’re wrong you’ll see a bicycle fight.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and thanks for bearing with me In These Trying Internet Times (ITTIT). Hopefully we can all return to the usual spot on Monday.

–BSNYC/RTMS

1) In New York City, scofflaw cyclists get called “jerks” in PSAs, while speeding drivers get:

Tickets
Arrested
Their licenses revoked
Rewarded by funky dancing ’80s video game skeletons when they break their speeding high score

2) What is this?

A waterproof cycling jacket
An invisibility cloak
Something that will “enable you to look like a complete pr1ck”
All of the above

3) Fill in the blank: “This ain’t no ____________.”

“Hipster shit”
“Party”
“Disco”
Foolin’ around”

4) If you need a chain guard for your recumbent, short of a full fairing, you can’t get much more aero than a Frisbee:

True
False

5) Hipsters have amateur beards; businessmen have:

Professional beards
Sculpted beards
Exquisite beards
No beards

6) These fools be:

Trippin’
Swervin’
Frontin’
Foolish

7) This actual tattoo is the cycling equivalent of getting spaghetti sauce stains tattooed around your mouth.

True
False

***Special Lip-Themed Bonus Question***

Which term seems to be on everybody’s lips these days?

“Hot Karl”
“Jerk”
“Douche”
“Fixie”

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73 Responses to “BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz–in Exile!”

  1. quincycyclist Says:

    Maglia Rosa?

  2. ant1 Says:

    ant1st!

  3. Cyclesnack Says:

    Top 3

  4. Evan Says:

    It’s less fun when the answers are still ‘unclicked’ and blue…

  5. adamdoesit Says:

    podium, weirdly.

  6. adamdoesit Says:

    d’oh.

  7. samh Says:

    GOOGLEBLOGGERPWNSAUCE!

  8. samh Says:

    I appreciate the lack of styling that you’ve applied to your emergency back-up blog, Snob.

  9. Gaffer Smythe Says:

    Goooogle has failed you, yet triumph is found in exile.

  10. Nebraska bike commuter Says:

    Even on a day when I’m not at work and everyone else is thrown off by the alternate emergency venue, I still can’t crack the top ten.

  11. Twistyface Says:

    It’s the taking part that counts… I for one am enjoying the new steeplechase format…

  12. eine_Biene Says:

    Minimalist design, 57 things guy would be proud

  13. fuqeu Says:

    Damnit. Top 14? Nice backup plan. Indeed you are a media whore attention seeker. You may have also broken the Tweeter now. I see a fail whale which is likely your fault, Snobby.

  14. OBA Says:

    The twiteratti breakaway makes it to the podium

  15. The Abrahammer Says:

    Fools be swervin redux!

  16. g Says:

    Wow. Managed to get 100%…

  17. Pontius Pilate Says:

    HAIL CSZR

    -P.P.

  18. domotion2011 Says:

    WordPress to the rescue. As a new blogger on wordpress with two RSS feeds, yours and Copenhagenize I thought it strange this morning to see both post from yesterday mysteriously disappear Mikeal must have taken the bus today.

  19. portlandanonymous Says:

    photos not loading for me…epicly textual quiz this week

    • VeloDan Says:

      Portland anyonymous, remove the “s” from the “https” at the front of the URL. Not sure why this site is loading as a secure site.

      VeloDan(from Portland)

  20. livingjetlag Says:

    Oh, crap! We made fun of TTTTSWRFFTPTD once too often, and now he’s sent us all the way back to Wednesday. Will the weekend never come? @#$%!!

    This week on wordpress, next week in Jerusalem, Lob willing.

    The beautiful Godzillas are getting uglier in the Boston area.

  21. livingjetlag Says:

    SWER
    VIN’

  22. livingjetlag Says:

    All You Haters See My Backup Blog

  23. rocky mtn chuck Says:

    5 out of 7, pretty meh. Good thing I didn’t ace it or I would have had to buy myself something nice, in DIRECT OPPOSITION to the approved “minimalist” ethos of the day. Have you learned nothing, BSNYC?

    Or, you sly boots, an even edgier, “anti-minimalist”?

    I like this blogsite better because my work filter doesn’t warn me like it does for the other one.

  24. gordonroth@stevenshobby.com Says:

    Miss Recumbabe
    RIDE NICE

  25. Cameron Says:

    Unless Blogger is paying you to stay, I think these wordpress digs are way better, and threaded comment section to boot.

    Viva la bikesnobnyc.wordpress.com!

  26. Mikeweb Says:

    Yay! I made it!

    That Erik K graphic is exquisite: Schleckanical, ‘Clentador’ emerging from tainted beef, Floyd ‘n Pharmstrong and of course of the self lubing dark lord humself, not exposing his buttocks this time.

  27. Chazu Says:

    100% on the kvizz.

    And I do think this is both a party and a disco, but it surely ain’t no foolin’ around.

  28. rural 14 Says:

    ant 2nd!
    snarly people getting to the country in a hurry to have fun today. And if you’re in their way…the horn is the tool to use – or come as close as you can without hitting the rube on the bike. Lob! it’s the invasion of Botox and bad hair jobs in fancy cars. Oh the humanity. As a former New Yorker, a REAL New Yorker, ie born there (though one can be adopted by New York as well (though none of these lobforsaken homunculi are), I cringe at my former compatriots when they’re in my rural neighborhood; the only solace being I think they’re really from Westchester and New Jersey.

  29. SomePuto Says:

    PISS LIPS

  30. ctifusion Says:

    I’m really sick of seeing smart, educated people continuing to use homophobic language as if it’s funny. So a cocksucker is equivalent to the worst asshole driver? That’s what you’ve got, that that guy is “gay.”

    Grow the fuck up SNOB. Do you really think your entire audience is a bunch of straight dudes just like you?

    • bsnycemergencybackupblog Says:

      Ctifusion,

      Not even remotely what I meant.

      Anyway, who’s to say the driver’s not a woman?

      –BSNYC/RTMS (in exile)

      • ctifusion Says:

        When you use cocksucker as a derogatory term you are clearly saying that anyone who sucks cock, man or woman, gay or straight, is an asshole/stupid, whatever.

        It’s just not cool.

        You should not use or forward or post violent homophobic pictures/text, etc. on you blog if you don’t have negative/violent attitudes towards people who suck cock.

        Kobe didn’t “mean” it either.

        either say that kind of shit is cool with you or not but don’t pull this “not what I meant” bullshit.

    • db Says:

      You misspelled your screen name, “confusion”. Sexist pig… (yep, I’m a swinophobe).

    • oldentard Says:

      I’m trying to figure out who the smart and educated people are.

    • NYC DOT Says:

      Hey ctifusion, how many times to we have to say it: DON’T BE A JERK.

      • ctifusion Says:

        How exactly am I being a jerk for calling out gay slurs in an otherwise smart and cool blog?

    • James Allen Says:

      Strictly speaking, you’re wrong.

      “Cocksucker” no more implies a general disdain for the literal act of sucking cock than the word “fuck” implies a general disdain for the literal act of intercourse. For example, when I say “you are a fuck”, I am not disparaging intercourse in general, nor promoting an anti-sex ethos. That is simply not how cursing works. Curse words, like “cocksucker”, or “fuck”, or “shit”, are malleable words whose meaning is completely dependent on context. Generally, that meaning goes no further than a simple synonym for “good” or “bad”. When I call you a “fuck”, I am disparaging you, not the act of intercourse. To interpret the sentence differently is to make a mistake.

      All curse words, taken literally, can be taken as prejudicial. For example, you use the word “jerk”. Are you trying to disparage masturbators? Should the use of “shit” be avoided because it may cause us to perceive our fecal matter with undue shame? You’re giving words power that they do not possess. When you take special offense to “cocksucker” it has little to do with the word’s usage and everything to do with your sensitivities. Bikesnob obviously did not make a slur against homosexuality. What actually happened is that he wrote something that reminded you of a slur. Life will be better if you can successfully identify the difference between the two.

      • chad Says:

        James, well spoken. The english language is an ever changing and fluid thing. To try and delegate a word to one purpose seems a bit silly. Just because someone sucks cock, doesn’t mean they own the word cocksucker. Although in this case I think that cocksucker ctifusion, does indeed suck cock, and there is nothing wrong with that. I wish more people in this world would such cock.

    • chad Says:

      @ctifusion, quit being such a fag.

  31. Anonymous Coward Says:

    Snob, when is the new deadline for the TTRFFPTD submissions?

  32. marcel da chump Says:

    next time someone tries to steal my bike from me, I’m gonna slap ’em upside the head with it, just like Jackie Chan in that video.
    Have great weekend all.

  33. crosspalms Says:

    Visiting Philadelphia for my daughter’s graduation and waving toward backup BSNYC. Lots more cyclists here than last time I visited. Nice. And nice recovery: BSNYC 1, Google 0. Ride safe everybody

  34. hot tom Says:

    I soild my chamois when I could not find thursday. Hot tub time machine flashback.

  35. Unbacked Belgian Says:

    I agree the WordPress site is sweet: can you get Bicycling.com to move here as well? Their site sucks.

  36. bikesgonewild Says:

    …mt etna is erupting at the giro d’italia, snow is predicted for the start of the tour of california in tahoe & now this googlebloogertastrophy at bsnyc/pdx/sfo/rtms…

    …sheesh !!!…if i was a conspiracy theorist, i’d comment about cycling’s unharmonic convergence this week…

    …but i’m just sayin’…

  37. Jasper Says:

    I notice the theme of this page is called Kubrick, but fail to see any connection to anything I’ve seen in any of his films, not even a black monolith. Any ideas, anyone?

  38. Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist Says:

    I scratched the frisbee question but got the professional beard one. lucky guess I guess.

    Hey snob check out my popular food blog “Fun with Meat and Artisanal Firepits”

  39. Jasper Says:

    …unless one of these new-fangled face-detector programs thought Cipo looked like Jack in the Shining….

  40. d.hawerchuk10@gmail.com Says:

    May 21st is a week (and a day) away. … tick tock, tick tock

  41. twistyface Says:

    I thinks ‘Kubrik’ relates to the tiny smiley face at the footer of the page: his comedies are genre defining.

  42. straight dude Says:

    Way to go, Snob, you’ve made the top ten on the UCI (United Cocksuckers Institute) “suspicion index”.

  43. rob Says:

    the ebay ad, including the Q&A section, is in itself about 1000 times funnier than the entire combined works of BSNYC

  44. wishiwasmerckx Says:

    So South African ex-President F.W. DeKlerk’s son won a stage of the Giro today?

  45. Anonymous Bosch Says:

    It’s Hieronymus Bosch fer lobsakes.

    Why stay in college? Why go to night school? Jeez…

  46. nuckleheader@hotmail.com Says:

    That was the best wrong answer video in a while. Maybe since the bicycle riding dalmation from a couple years ago.

  47. nuckleheader Says:

    Hmmm… Didn’t realize that was gonna publish my email address. In fact, and now that I look at it, it kind of very explicitly says there that “Your email address will not be published.” Odd.

  48. crosspalms Says:

    Next time, just say “Fucking Cockfosters” and the Londonerites will laugh and everyone else will Google it.

  49. Trailer Park Cyclist Says:

    Grandma always said “Stupid Sapsuckers” but we knew what she meant.

  50. Carphobic Says:

    May I suggest “don´t be a fucking exhaustsucker”?

    Ok, that might not please Martin “big benz” Erzinger, but who cares?

  51. puzzled Says:

    re the Erik K montage: Why is Hugh Laurie
    ‘s mug right in the center? “The Seven People You Meet in Hell”?

  52. ce Says:

    BoingBoing says it’s David Byrne’s 59th birthday today. Just incase you didn’t know, David Byrne doesn’t eat carrot cake. Can’t figure out why, something about it just irks him.

  53. chad Says:

    Snob, you make my life better with every one of your posts. The ebay thread you just introduced me to made my day. Thanks, you giant ass.

  54. Dave the busdriver Says:

    Had you heard that David Byrne has renounced car ownership? That’s it
    too much car in carrot cake.

  55. Chazu Says:

    What if he had written “Fucking Dick” instead? Would he then be an anti-penis writer? Would it be an affront to everyone with a penis, and an insult to everyone who loves penises?

    And what about those who love to have intercourse of some sort with penises – gay or straight? Would the use of the word “fucking” be derogatory? “Fucking dick” implies that intercourse with a penis is a bad thing, right?

    Pfizer had better withdraw (ahem) Viagra from the market before ctifusion organizes a picket line outside of their NYC offices. The sole purpose of that product is to produce fucking dicks on demand.

  56. Joe Holbrook Says:

    Cycling coatcheckers!

  57. Anonymous Says:

    Wait. David Byrne had a birthday?

    What do you get the man who has everything except a car?

  58. ce Says:

    Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe some nice new slippers. David Byrne’s place has hard, cold timber and tile flooring. He doesn’t own carpet you know. Doesn’t like that new carpet smell.

    Please no chocolate and definitely no caramel, he is on a low carb diet, cardiac troubles I believe.

  59. ce Says:

    Please post again soon Snob

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